About 7 years ago I went on a ‘blind date’ the closest I’ve ever got to a date. I was working part time (not in a cocktail bar… a shop) and had plans to go to the cinema with a friend after. She met me outside with her boyfriend… and his friend. SURPRISE she was trying to set me up and I didn’t even know it.
What follows is a pretty awkward attempt at a date.
To start with, this poor guy never really stood a chance. I’d just met my now ex, and I was crushing pretty hard. Also, let’s be honest ladies, most of us have a ‘type’ and this guy just wasn’t mine.
So, we were awkwardly introduced. Apparently he just ‘happened to be around’ so my friend invited him and her boyfriend along to the cinema with us. She’s since come clean, and admitted she tried to set me up!
He drove us to her house to get changed ready for the cinema (I had to wear a pretty ugly uniform at work) and spoke about how much he loved his car the whole time. In the words of Shania Twain… that didn’t impress me much!
As soon as we got to my friends house I got a phone call, my mum was in a panic, my dog was ill and she was convinced she was going to die. We’d only had her 2 weeks, but I loved that little ball of fur. And it seemed like a great excuse to escape this ‘date’ early. Sadly, he was the only one that drove so he offered to drive me home.
This is where the story starts to get strange… on the way home I got another call. My dog (Poppy) was in labour and just had her first puppy! Crazy. It turns out she was already pregnant when we adopted her. Which made us feel pretty bad for putting her on a diet (as told by the vet!).
He dropped me off to my door… yep what a gent walking me to my door. That would sound lovely, but he was awkward, still only spoke about his car and complimented me on my hair too many times that it just became creepy. We all love a compliment but there’s a line and he crossed it!
And my mum answered the door, and he said these weird words “i’ve never seen a dog give birth before” so my mum invited him in… because why not? We spent the next few hours watching my dog give birth… beautiful, scary and very weird for a ‘first date’. Then as my dog lay there pretty puffed out and tired he spoke about his favourite guns, yep guns (he was in the army). Who knew you could get so many different types?
We eventually went to the pub… not by my choice. He was so odd – my Mum encouraged us to go out so she didn’t have to sit with him. Thanks for that! When we got there he sat and played with my hair. Before he finally drove me home, gave me a plastic duck and some flowers. I have no idea why he gave me a plastic duck, I don’t even like ducks!
He awkwardly kept appearing in the shop I worked at for the next month and sent me the occasional Myspace message before finally getting the message.